Returning Home

Reflecting as I leave

From the moment I fell in love with the city of Valencia (just briefly after I arrived) I knew it would not be easy to return home, mentally or emotionally. 

Valencia itself is the perfect combination of history and innovation, art and athletics, city center and beach, delicious and iconic food, markets and name-brand stores, affordable yet luxurious.

The blend nicely balances a sense of relaxation while still offering plenty of entertainment with the plethora of option for locals, students, or even tourist.

But then what really solidified my attachment was the life style I lived and the people I met.  Slowly it became effortless to meet new people, find places to hangout, travel on the weekend - truly what ever I desired.  It was so easy to get around the city - walking, biking, bus, or subway - as well as to other surrounding areas, cities, and countries or the region. 

Please note that I am not one to focus on the negatives but since I never wanted to leave Spain my mother told me I should make a list of everything I don’t like about it here so that it makes it easier to leave and look forward to everything I miss about the states. (regardless of her motives for telling me to do so, I did already have a little running list of things that bothered me)

So here we go:

• Men Peeing: whenever and where ever, if they had to release bodily fluid they would - midday or night, in a public or private space outside. If I was taking a stroll through the park and I happen to look over at a nice tree or the beautiful vine of flowers on the wall, oap there someone was.
• Androcentric Mindset: this ties into the statement above, peeing was just the beginning of men's superior mind frame/separation of the ability of sexes.  Compared to the attitude in Michigan, especially at the University, I noticed men felt more entitled to desires and they also separated what men and women can do, especially athletically.  One example was the car calling. Or even more subtle, when I was in a group of friends the guys would only invite the other compadres to play a game of football or foosball.  Now I am not saying that they aren't clearly more talented than I, or the other females at the table, but an invitation or acknowledgement would have been nice. Later on my friend and I addressed this to them - and sadly they brutally beat us at foosball, but at least we were finally included. (However I do have to say other than that there were quite a few gentlemen that were very polite to women).
• Lack of notice/timeliness:  a side effect of the 'No Pasa Nada' mentality                                 (translating to: Don't Worry About It)
• In the workplace: if my supervisor came to work later or she was occupied with other work tasks elsewhere it seemed to slip her mind to let me know.  Some days I would come to work having completed my task from the day before and I would wait and wait for her to come so I could see what needed to be done next. I noticed this lack of timeliness was the same for meetings. Meetings would start on half an hour to an hour late depending on when everyone showed up. Not saying that Spaniards didn't get things done, unlike the stereotype against Spanish work ethic, but they didn't at the exact time predesignated.
• This was also true for with friends. There were always the few that ran on Spanish time.  However since it was the summer, it was relaxation time, so this didn't bother me a great deal, but if I were living there for a more permanent time I know this would not sit well with me.
• This was also true for waitstaff at a restaurant.  Going along with the Spanish "relaja" mind frame (meaning, state of relaxation), I was nice to be able to just sit back, slowly enjoy a meal/time with friends, and watch time pass by at a local cafe or restaurant. It was nice not being rushed out of a restaurant right after we finished out plate.  In fact, the waiter never brought the bill until it was asked, a sign that we could stay as long as we desired.  The only problem with this was then it was sometimes a struggle to get the bill. And even once it was requested (by the hand signal - again, much different from procedures in America), it may take 20 minutes for them to come with the bill.  This only was relaxing if I didn't have somewhere to be; still having my American tendencies of over scheduling, I usually had somewhere to be after. 
• Cockroaches: in the summer months they were everywhere. Did I mention I have a great disliking/fear of bugs, especially those that can move as fast as bolt of lighting and can get anywhere.  Especially in the nights of July it was very easy to see many sprinting back and forth along the sidewalk, thank god I would like a bike around, but nevertheless it always sent a shiver down my spin. Then in the morning the dead one would be laying on the sidewalk.  But thankfully, I never saw one in my apartment :)))

Nevertheless these thing didn't overshadow the aspects I liked and I tried to make the most of the no pasa nada attitude and take in my surroundings. 

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Readjusting to the U.S.

During my time in Spain since I tried to adapt to their style of life and navigate their systems of operating everyday activities I was aware of their societal norms. Throughout my time I shared these observation with other visiting students I met (from the U.S. and other European countries), allowing me to make even more comparisons to life in Michigan. So in returning to the United States I inevitably made comparisons with my experiences abroad and operations here.  I became hyperaware of flaws in US society, especially in regards to the environment and health.

First, for the environment. The US is one of the leading producers of waste.  Now I can really see how oblivious we are to doing so, especially in our daily habits.  We blast the air conditioning at the slightest bit of heat.  And we drive at the slightest distance.  To the latter, this may be because we don't have another option for community transportation but we are also just lazy and we don't allocated proper time for physically moving ourselves there.  Maybe if we had smaller markets spread about it would be easier to get to by bike or walking.

However this goes with our tendencies to overpack, overbuy, over consume .. Costco is an example of this, bulk, bulk, bulk.

This leads into the problems with our health. We don't exercise enough and we don't eat healthy enough. When I came back home it was even hard to go to the grocery store and buy healthy foods, as I had in Spain, when there are isles upon isles of packaged, salty, processed food. In restaurants, the food proportions are too large.  Allowing us to overeat, and if not then the leftovers are wasted.  In the first week coming home after every meal at a restaurant I always felt sick afterwards.

In all, for numerous reasons the transition coming back home was harder that transitioning to the Spanish lifestyle and systems. It may be because I now that I have to encounter what I see as a problem in the U.S. for longer that I did in Spain, or I feel more entitled in bringing change in my community, or that we have more pressing matters, or just personal taste.  Nevertheless this was an eye-opening experience that readjusted my standards for societal norms.